So. 你是一个企业主. 这是一件很棒的事情! 但是停下来想一想. 你就是这样吗?
当然不是. 你也是某人的孩子，对吧? 确定. 你还有什么??
也许你是配偶. 一个葡萄酒爱好者. 一个网球运动员. 一个慢跑者. 你懂的. T在这里 is a long, long list of things that you do. 停下来想一想这个问题, and you’ll realize that everything on that list may say something about the things that you 享受, but none of them really say anything about who you 是.
The fact that you 是 a business owner says 没有什么 about your intrinsic value as a human being. Neither does your being a wine buff or a jogger, and neither does your playing any of the other roles on that list. 你的身份——你的“我”——是一回事. The role – the “R” – you choose to take on, and the degree of proficiency you display in playing that role, 是完全不同的事情. I/R Theory is all about separating the two.
Think of some little person that you love. 也许是你自己的孩子, 一个你很亲近的孩子, or even a child you hope to have someday. Imagine that you 是 t在这里 the moment this child enters the world. The child has not yet contributed anything to society at large. If we were to ask you to tell us that child’s value on a scale of 1 to 10, what would you say? 10! 当然!
快进几年. That same little person is learning independence and having a bad day as a two- or three-year-old. They stomp their feet and says things like “No!”或者“我!” Granted you may be frustrated and tired at the moment you hear this. You may feel like scoring that child at around a 2 on role performance. But if we asked you the same question about their value, you know what the answer would be, right? 毫无疑问，还是10分.
The same would be true through the teenage years and even as an adult. 正确的? No matter what the role performance, this beloved child will always be a 10 to you.
现在, if you can believe that about that amazing little person in your life, why is it so hard to believe about yourself?
A person’s view of their 身份 is shaped at an early age, often with good intentions from their c是givers. P是nts want their children to grow up to be productive, healthy members of society. They say things like, “Be good in school,” and “Clean your room.” T在这里 is 没有什么 wrong with any of that; in fact, it’s good p是nting. But it’s also important to understand that, 在早期的发展, a child’s brain begins to connect good performance with “I am good.” Conversely, bad performance equals “I am bad” in the child’s mind. 这是完全不正确的. Having a bad day running your business says 没有什么 about your 身份 or worth as a human being.
One day when Susan’s nephew Morgan was in kindergarten, she went to pick him up from school. He was normally very talkative and excited in these situations, but on this day, he was quiet. When Susan asked what was wrong, he said, “Well, I’m sad because I got a red dot today.”
苏珊没有自己的孩子, so she was not familiar with the dot system, 但很明显，红色是不好的. Morgan explained to her that he hadn’t been quiet during quiet time and that he had just wanted to play. 苏珊竭力忍住不笑. Morgan clearly understood how he was supposed to behave and now felt bad that he was “bad.”
But Susan said to him, “You know, we don’t like that you got a red dot, but we love you.”
His face lit up instantly with a big smile. 他说:“你知道?”
现在, Susan knew Morgan’s mom and dad provided a loving supportive family environment and his teacher was kind and caring. No one was intentionally attacking his 身份. 这才是重点. The messages that children internalize from those around them 是 subtle. 经常, it’s the case that those messages get interpreted in ways that 是 not in a person’s best interests.
Why is it so important to separate your “I” from your “R”? Because learning to separate your 身份 from your role performance is the first and most critical component in being an effective leader, and that definitely includes being the leader of a business.
We’ll leave you with this: You can only perform as well in your roles as you see yourself conceptually. Your concept of 身份 always affects how you perform in your roles…but you must never allow your role performance to affect your sense of 身份. So, remind yourself, as often as necessary, to see yourself as you really 是: 10 out of 10.
摘自 Yes, You Can Take a Day Off: Escape the Nine Traps of Growing Your Small Business. ©2021乐博网页版首页. 保留所有权利.
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